I was reading My Dead Sons Journal's, my new favorite blog, well one of them. After Matt's journal entry, his mom was talking about excuses. And man do we addicts have some excuses. Anyways, this blog always gets to me. Always makes me think, it makes me honest with myself and makes me want to BE honest with others.
I wanted to get off the suboxone for many reasons. But what really pushed me was the price. Even though I finally got insurance to cover my actual script, I still owe my doctor something like $700+. He was really awesome to help me even though I really could not pay him. He let me go as long as he could. I could try to get insurance to cover my doctor, but I am pretty sure it will be a pre-approval thing and would take weeks to months to get approved through state care (medicaid). Soo, it is just better this way. I thought I would do good. And I would have, if temptation had not come knocking. But that would have happened anyways. It always comes eventually. But I did so good for 9 months and I was proud and my husband was happy with me. Well except when he wasn't, then he used it against me. But I thought I would do ok. Now it's like within a few days I have just gone from bad to worse. I can't do this again, I can't...
A blog about the life of a phone fetish conversationalist , mom, and recovering (sometimes) addict.
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1 comment:
Carrion You can. We can. I'm telling the both of us here. We have done it once (or more) and can do it again. Like I said in my last comment I'm still trying for day one. I have methadone and no good reason to use . . . other than being an addict. I have to stop it. I've also got worse in the last two weeks, I just want to rewind, I expect you can relate to that . . . Or even fast forward to a better day. But we cant, we are here today. I wish I could help you or even help myself . . . thinking of you with love x
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