Ummm

i dont know what the fuck i am doing but meh...here goes nothing. i used to detest blogging, but i have come across some pretty good ones lately and i have been testing the blogosphere waters over at livejournal.

so you want to know about me. there is no way i am fitting it all in here, i will be here forever. the important points. i was raised by a drug addict/dealer. left home at 15. got married and had a kid at 19. divorced at 20. met chad at 23 had another kid, been together since. went crazy and smashed my car into someone elses. got probation, fucked up got house arrest and somewhere in there went to school and became a veterinary technician. but due to the house arrest the clinic i worked at doesnt want me til i finish up probation. so i am a phone sex prostitute.

thats the long and short of it. i know this blog will lead to me talking about my drug use, proably alot. even tho right now i dont use that often. i shoot coke about once a month, i eat pills when i can get my hands on them. i am looking at getting back to the basics tho. i started tripping alot at 16. i loved it, did it all the time. smoked alot of weed. but after watching my mother fuck up for years and put me in shitty situations, i was terrified of hard drugs. terrified yet drawn. i always saw shooting up as such a glamorous, rock star thing to do. i knew it wasn't. i am not stupid. i knew what it was to be a junkie, even without actually having been one at the time. still i was drawn.

i didnt touch any hard stuff till i was 23. then i went nuts, did it all. well almost, have never smoked crack. my mom is a crack ho now. maybe thats why, that and it just smells like ass. i have been looking to find a good dope connection, but havent yet.

my friend found a bag of H on the floor of a conveinence store and gave it to us. that shit was the best drug i have ever had. it was very light brown, almost white. i nose bumped that for like 3 days. it was perfection.

anyhow, i know i am gonna get some dumbasses that want to come on here and make stupid comments n such. to let you know right now. i dont care. i make no bones about what i do and who i am. dont want to hear, then be off. nothing you say is going to change me, hurt my feeling or even really do more than mildly piss me off. and you will be damn lucky to get that.

oh and one last thing. i consider myself a junkie even tho i have not had the occassion to shoot H yet. actually thats a lie, i almost forgot about that black tar c sent us. to me anyone who sticks a needle in their arm is a junkie. i am not going to argue this point with anyone. its just how i like to think.